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Call Me Chernobyl

by Todd Fogarty

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1.
I need a remote for my life and new batteries so I can skip the scenes of heartache and catastrophe and mute the frantic, manic, fucking voices in my head rewind my zombified insides just a bit. My thoughts are such a mess, like broken cigarettes a toxic mix of chemicals inside my head I don't know what to say and neither does my brain feelings are fucking hard for me to grasp and even harder to explain and in my dreams I've been choking on flies they fill my mouth, they fill my nose and then they fill my fucking eyes and now you're gone, yeah you're gone and I don't know how to feel, I never know. I can't pretend that I don't care and the half-life of that feeling's still there but it's not, it's not enough Like cave in victims my mind is stuck on the way things used to be and the change in both of us and like pulling shards of glass out of a bloodied pair of feet it is difficult and painful and hard to see My thoughts are such a mess, like broken cigarettes a toxic mix of chemicals inside my head and God knows I hate change or maybe he don't coz god is just the imaginary friend of the pope and in my dreams when I crawl out of the sea I find some creature of the deep has laid its eggs inside of me and now you're gone, yeah you're gone and I don't know how to feel, I never know. I can't pretend that I don't care and the half-life of that feeling's still there but it's not, it's not enough
2.
Skin Grafts 03:46
I'm in an unkempt state of decay, but my heart keeps beating although it beats irregularly, maybe it's got something to do with the chemicals ingested or the smoke in my lungs the questionable compounds absorbed through the pores in my tongue my lack of sleep, I need to eat, I need to wash away my sins and stop grinding my fucking teeth So don't think I'm having fun, I'm just self medicating to cure these bullshit, bastard, asshole blues. As my heart beats at the tempo of a Bad Brains or a Casualties song and I'm pretty sure I hear my straining ventricles scream along "please let this human die, because I wanna be a transplant" I've got no hold, I'm getting ugly as I get old maybe I should just blame the weekend stop sleeping with my fucking ex-girlfriends I've got to stop self deprecating so damn much but when it all comes down to it I look much better in dimly lit bars or in your bedroom with the lights switched off and I'm surprised I've made it this far on shaking hands and bleeding knees with a shrunken Grinch's heart So maybe my shoes are just on too tight maybe my heads not screwed on quite right coz I'm starting to feel like I did on that drunken Vietnamese scooter ride I'm crashing into buses as I'm blacking out my skin's no competition for the bitumen I'll meet on the ground and if I don't stop now I'm probably gonna need a transplant I've got no hold, I'm getting ugly as I get old maybe I should just blame the weekend stop sleeping with my fucking ex-girlfriends I've got to stop self deprecating so damn much but when it all comes down to it I look much better in dimly lit bars or in your bedroom with the lights switched off and I'm surprised I've made it this far on shaking hands and bleeding knees with a shrunken Grinch's heart
3.
When we were young, all growing up, just sucking on our Chupa-chups and everyday was fun, playing in the sun and it didn't matter if the weather was shit, the rain made mud and we'd play in it using dirt and sticks to block the drains and flood the streets for kicks and we'd light dumb fires and going exploring all the time no care for reason nor for rhyme, just be home by dinner time but oh, it seems to me we lost our way we lost our way we lost our way we lost our way Remember stealin' old red wine, uncork it with the sticks we'd find and drink it by the tracks, smoking Escy Blues that we stole from my father's packs have so much fun doing shit we'd never done and I know it sounds dumb to you but doing the wrong thing seemed like the right thing to do and we'd run amok, be carefree and not give a fuck about the future or the past, working jobs or regos for our cars but oh, it seems to me we lost our way we lost our way we lost our way we lost our way and it seems to me that everything was funner first time round I'd still rather be at a houseparty than gettin' started on in town and I wish we didn't all get fat, faded, jaded and full of crap, trapped and bored like prehistoric bugs inside of old tree sap but oh, it seems to me... we lost our way we lost our way we lost our way
4.
It's "Jessica Time" again so crack open your cans and drink to occupy your liver and your shaking hands if you wanna see me, well head down to the strip I'll be passed out in a gutter with a smoke stuck to my lip time and time and time again I end up in this place with puke stains on my jeans and dried blood on my face I'm fucking up for life and my parents couldn't tell by the time that I was 14 I was going straight to hell The Bottoms Up Boys, drinking everyday I can't afford my habit but i'll do it anyway The Bottoms up Boys, drink em if ya got em and if you've got a bottle then I'll meet you at the bottom and if you're still lookin' for me I'll be on the steps of the Church of Malt Liquor, rolling cigarettes half a can of Caribou and a sign in my hand that reads "I'm travelling broke and sober can ya spare some liquor please" The Bottoms Up Boys, drinking everyday I can't afford my habit but i'll do it anyway The Bottoms up Boys, drink em if ya got em and if you've got a bottle then I'll meet you at the bottom well last night I drank a two-six and I ruined my whole life I shot both my parents and then I grabbed the knife I thought I'd slice my own throat but then I thought twice coz my parents liquor cabinet it was looking mighty nice The Bottoms Up Boys, my liver's turning black from whiskey, gin and Listerine, and liberated Jacks The Bottoms Up Boys, cut me some slack coz I'd be all alone without this monkey on my back

about

Debut EP released 19/05/2015
Recorded, mixed and mastered by Ben David (at ADD Recording Facility)

Physical copies available from - www.anchorhead.com.au

credits

released May 19, 2015

Recorded by Ben David at ADD Recording Facility
Artwork by Sianne van Abkoude
facebook.com/toddfogartymusic
anchorhead.com.au

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Todd Fogarty Adelaide, Australia

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